Money management tips from a debt management non-profit

from: 'For Richer or Poorer' Starts When Planning a Wedding: MMI offers tips for planning the wedding of your dreams within your means.

source: Business Wire, April 26, 2006.

via: HighBeam™ Research

COPYRIGHT 2006 Business Wire

Wedding Numbers

2.4 million Weddings that occur in the U.S. per year:

• $20,000 Average wedding budget
• 25 Average age of a bride in the U.S. (the average age was 22 in 1980)
• 27 Average age of a groom in the U.S. (the average was 23.6 in 1980)
• 189 The average number of guests invited to a wedding
• 11 Percentage of weddings in June and August. (But months such as May, September and October are becoming more popular with 10 percent.)
• $3,657 Average honeymoon budget

SOURCES: TheKnot.com, Hallmark

Cultural Diplomacy, Part 2: Wedding Gifting

Part II: Wedding Gifting

We then moved on to the issue of gifts, which was the unexpected bump. Albeit it is not a hugely emotional issue or a potential minefield as the wedding cost, it is nevertheless a difference in culture. In Chinese weddings, and with many other cultures I might add, guest bring wedding presents/gifts in the form of cash. (I am going to update this entry once I can come up with a small matrix, so stayed tuned.) As my father starts to describe how this plays out at a Chinese wedding, I noticed a micro-expression of apprehension at the thought. My future in-laws listened with an open mind but I could tell that they see some difficulties and discomfort of this in practice. This understandable -- after all, isn't about just them, it is about all the extended family as well. This one is going to be a little more challenging than the parents' meeting! To understand better, I checked on the wedding websites, Emily Post etiquette, Miss Manners for information. I did research and started to look at the reasons behind the general rules.

Since my FH and I have lived independently as adults out of the home for 10 years plus, when it comes to a gift registry, we have very little that we actually need. As we walk around windowshopping one weekend afternoon, we started noticing the couples that would run around department stores with a registry form and clipboard in hand. The way we look at it, there is very little that we would need, right away any way. We don't need dishes and silverware. In anything, we will have to get rid of things once we move in together after getting married!

Solution: The potpourri approach.
My Future Husband/ Significant Other (i like both titles equally well) and I are doing a little of everything. I actually quite like the solution -- it's modern and respectful of everyone's comfort level. We are creating gifting niches for greater marginal comfort for all involved. We've registered with online gift registry on Amazon.com very few items (moved from wishlist), and we are asking parents to spread the word that we have a honeymoon fund should they be inclined. The really Chinese of the party will bring their red envelopes.

Here comes the... Bill

What a great article. It's so odd to me now that BusinessWeek, Fortune, and all those other financial magazines do not do a profile on the wedding industry, especially since there is $120 billion a year in it!

Cultural Diplomacy, Part 1: Wedding Budget and Cost

My fiance and I are very different people. He is a WASP who grew up in Connecticut, and I am a Chinese girl who grew up in Taiwan, and then immigrated to California as a teenager. Personality and political differences aside (and there are many), we also have cultural differences that are more than just east meets west. It gets a lot more specific than that, and one discovers them even more once engaged.

First, there is a difference in wedding traditions that has to do with cold hard reality of: money. Who pays has always been a touchy issue when it comes to weddings, but when it comes to two different cultures, it becomes touchy. I guarantee you that you will not find a wedding website that will answer the question when you are merging two different cultures on top of two different families.

In Chinese weddings, the groom's family pays. It is also customary (yes, even today) for the groom's family to visit bride's family to ask for the bride's hand. Gifts are usually exchanged from groom's family to the bride's. For more information on modern Chinese wedding tradition, read: http://weddings.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Chinese_Wedding_Traditions

How did my Future Husband and I handle this? Well, for one, we had both of our family come to visit us where we lived to meet. Since both my FH and I have been living independently away from the family for about 10 years, it made sense that we make our plans here where we live instead of where our families live. This solution certainly made more work for both families, but was much easier on us, the engaged couple. The meeting went well as well, and our parents got a long quite well and the time spent together was very enjoyable.

We were also very lucky on the issue of the wedding budget. Our parents understood the cultural differences and both are going to contribute equally to our parent matching fund, where my parents match what his parents contribute toward our wedding. My FH's family is accustomed to larger weddings, so they volunteered to pay for the wedding reception cost, which accounted for a large part of the budget. The good will and generosity on both sides means that we can have a reasonable wedding that will accomodate both families and our friends without going into debt. Very lucky indeed.

The price of tying the knot

from: Paying the price to tie the knot in style: brides and grooms often foot the bill as weddings become increasingly pricey and elaborate. by Morain, Erin

source: Business Record (Des Moines), July 11, 2005.

via: HighBeam™ Research

COPYRIGHT 2005 Business Publication Corp.

25 tips you'll never find in a bridal magazine that I found in a bridal magazine

* Start planning your wedding and you may soon realize that finding The One was the easy part. You have friends coming out of the woodwork with advice, vendors trying to sell you crap you never knew existed, and a fiance who wishes you had eloped. So you turn to the bridal mags for answers but quickly learn that they just push more hot buttons.

"These magazines tap into your emotions and play up the fantasy part of your wedding but ignore the reality that your fantasy isn't free," says Alan Fields, author of Bridal Bargains. In fact, matrimony is a $50 billion a year industry that gets the average couple to spend about $20,000, creating enough pressure to make even the mellowest bride-to-be bug out. Chill, girl. We did some prenup nosing around and scored advice from the pros. Say "I do" to these tips, and they'll help you pull off the wedding you've always wanted ... without a hitch.

(1) Bargain-Hunt for a Gown

Why pay big bucks at a bridal boutique, where dresses cost anywhere from a few thousand dollars to nearly 20 grand? Save and buy no-name duds from a bridal warehouse (listed in your yellow pages) or even a barely worn one at a local consignment shop. Or find a chic castoff online at www.ebay.com, www.craigslist.org, the Trousseau section on www.indiebride.com, or the forums of www.theregoesthebride .com, a site lot brides-to-be who bailed before reaching the altar. "I wouldn't even go to the stores because I knew I'd fall in love. with a dress I couldn't afford," says Andrea, 31, who snagged a $7,000 designer gown for less than $500 on www.preownedweddingdresses.com. "When the dress fit me like a glove, I knew that it was meant to be."

(2) Wear Any White Dress

"All those poufy wedding dresses sort of looked the same," says Erin, 28. "And it wits important to me that my personality came through." So she found a fab white party (tress at one of her favorite boutiques. Buying off-the-rack saves you cash and gives you more options so you can go with something shorter or sexier than a traditional gown.

3 Go for a Chic Shade

White too virginal for you? Don a dress in color. "White is not a mandate; it's a choice, says Carolyn Gerin, coauthor of The Anti-Bride Guide: Tying the Knot Outside the Box. "Color is a good thing if it makes you feel gorgeous."

(4) Lose the "W" Word

"Say the word wedding to a caterer or florist and the price will instantly jack up," says Jennifer L. Shawne, author of Instant Weddings: From "Will You?" to "I Do!" in Four Months or Less. So don't let vendors know you're getting hitched. Get price quotes over the phone instead of doing a face-to-face, and say you're giving a retirement or birthday party.

(5) Tie the Knot at a Botanical Garden

Love the idea of flowers but hate to blow your budget on floral arrangements? Throw your nups at your local botanical garden, where the buds are part of the scenery. The American Association of Botanical Gardens and Arboreta at www.aabga.org has a list of member gardens in the U.S. Some rent their locations for private events. Look on their sites for the "contact us" info.

(6) Order Flowers in Season

Stick to buds that grow in your region naturally at the time of your wedding. It's cheaper, and you'll minimize shipping mishaps that can happen when transporting breeds long-distance. "Educate yourself on what you can get," says Joanne O'Sullivan, author of The New Book of Wedding Flowers. Do your own research or ask your florist what indigenous flowers are in season.

(7) Make Creative Table Centerpieces

Who says you have to plop floral arrangements in the middle of every table? Think dried flowers wrapped in ribbon, baskets of fruit, even goldfish bowls. Or work mound a personal theme, which is what Stacy, 28, did. "My husband is Irish, so in order to honor his heritage, we put clovers in hand-painted clay pots on all the tables," she says. "It looked amazing, and his family really appreciated it."

(8) Ditch the B-List Guests

You're spending big bucks per head, so you may want to rethink inviting your dad's golf buddy or your long-lost best friend. "It's nuts to invite people out of misguided obligation," says Diane Warner, author of The Contemporary Guide to Wedding Etiquette. "'It adds to the expense and makes your wedding impersonal." Rule of thumb: Leave a "friend" you haven't spoken to in two years off your list. Relatives are touchier. "One way to avoid hurt feelings: Invite family members over 21 only," says Ali Phillips, owner of Engaging Events by Ali.

(9) Have a Destination Wedding

Another guilt-free way to edit your guest list is to throw the fete out-of-town. You're getting a built-in excuse not to invite the peripherals, plus you and the people you really want will have a blast at some exotic locale.

(10) Look for Untapped Photo Talent

Lose the traditional wedding photographer and hire a lesser-known shutterbug who often works as an underappreciated but technically talented assistant. "It'll be easier on your budget, and a novice can offer a fresh eye on what's worth capturing on film," says Ian Londin, a photographer in New York City. Up-and-comers often advertise their services on sites like www.craigslist.org and in the classifieds. You can also poach them while they're working another wedding you're attending (just be stealthy so the boss doesn't find out) or tap the photo desk at the local newspaper.

(11) Consider Cupcakes

Cut out the classic triple-tiered wedding cake (which can range from $225 to $2,200 to feed 150 guests) and chow down on individually designed cupcakes instead. Not only will you save dough, but cupcakes often taste fresher than some cakes. "High-volume bakeries make so many wedding cakes that they sometimes bake them in advance and freeze them," says Kas Winters, author of Your Wedding Your Way. "They look good, but they taste stale."

(12) Ban Bridesmaids

Why make your buds shell out cash on dresses they'll never wear again? They'll be psyched if you let them off the hook. "Honor friends by having them do a reading or make a toast instead," says Gerin.

(13) Send Out E-Vites

Mailed invites are so last week. Since just about everyone and their grandma is wired now, send invitations online and have guests RSVP via e-mail. Sign up with a service like www.evite.com to manage your save-the-dates, RSVPs, and event reminders. You can choose cool designs from their gallery.

(14) Score One-of-a-Kind Invitations

If you'd rather go postal, put your personal stamp on your invites by hiring an art student to design something for you. Post a note in the career-services department at your local art school to tap a budding Picasso or computer-savvy graphic artist. Or, if you have the artistic chops, design your own.

(15) Hold Off Honeymoon

Sure, you're dying to get away. But after the whirlwind week you've just had, you might want to postpone your getaway and regroup. Amanda, 27, took her honeymoon nine months after she married: "My husband and I realized that we could really splurge if we waited until we had more money," she says. "Plus, it was like a double vacation because we took a week off for the ceremony and then had a whole other week to look forward to."

(16) Register for Your Honeymoon

Have enough martini glasses and bath towels to last a lifetime? Ask your guests to pay for pieces of your getaway instead. Sites like www.thebigday.com and www.distinctivehoneymoons.com make it easy. One of their agents will itemize the cost of your itinerary and post it on their site. "Guests then purchase portions of the trip in a range of prices," says Priscilla Alexander;, president of Distinctive Honeymoons.

(17) Keep Your Wedding-Night Whereabouts a Secret

Want a little postreception "do not disturb" time? Then don't stay at the same hotel as your guests. Or, if you do, don't reveal your room number. Tell the front desk to keep it on the down low and stay in another wing of the hotel. "If your friends keep dropping by to party all night, you'll never get a minute of privacy," says JoAnn Gregoli, a wedding planner from Elegant Occasions in New York City.

(18) Shake Up Your Aisle Style

Don't get hung up by who can walk you down the aisle. "It is a really old-fashioned idea that the father has to give away the bride," says Katherine, Jellison, PhD, associate professor of U.S. history at Ohio University in Athens and author of the upcoming "It's My Day": Gender, Class, and the American White Wedding, 1945-2000. Just ask Meg, 27, who had Mom and Dad on each arm, "Sure, I'm a daddy's girl, but both of my parents had an equal hand in raising me. I didn't think it was fair to play favorites."

(19) Borrow Some Bling

Take your cue from celebs and mooch rocks for your red-carpet moment. A growing number of jewelry stores are renting out their wares to customers for special occasions (but they probably won't do it for a total stranger). To protect their megavaluable merch, you'll have to sign a contract taking responsibility for the baubles and give them your credit-card number so they can bill you for any mishaps.

20 Enlist Your Own Deejay

Make a personal playlist by loading up an MP3 player or iPod (get a friend or hire an amateur deejay to man it) with songs you dig. Then burn the best ones onto CDs that you can give to your guests as favors.

(21) Serve Your Own Signature Cocktail

Met your man over mojitos? Make that your signature booze for the evening. Serving a specialty drink that means something to you adds a fun, personal touch to your celebration. You can also display the recipe for your guests.

(22) Give a Dance Lesson

Who couldn't use a tango lesson? Boost your guests' dancing confidence by hiring a dance instructor to teach them some moves. It'll be a lot more fun than trying to drag people into the floor to do the Electric Slide.

(23) Tap Into Counter Intelligence

You don't need to hire a pro who's going to give you over-the-top makeup and pageant hair (for anywhere from $110 to $225). Hit the beauty counter at the mall instead and ask for some tips on how to max out your assets. Or enlist a pal who's a hair-and-makeup whiz to be your stand-in stylist.

(24) Keep the Date Flexible

If you're not dead-set on being a June bride, you can save up to 10 percent. Schedule your reception in the off-season, from December through February, and on any day other than Saturday for even more savings.

(25) Let Your Pet Participate

Are you as attached to your pooch as Paris is to Tinkerbelle? Not a problem. These days, you can include Fido in your ceremony--as long as the place will allow it. After all, a woman's best friend is part of the family too.

WHO FOOTS THE BILL?

The bride's family once automatically paid for the wedding. Nowadays, 70 percent of couples spring for part of the cost (or all of it) on their own.

SOURCE: THE KNOT

GET YOUR GROOM INVOLVED

Most men actually want to be part of the planning process. Here's how to get your guy pumped to pitch in.

HOME IN ON HIS INTERESTS

"He's not going to get psyched about floral arrangements or table linens," says Dan Jewel, author of the upcoming The Groom's Guide to Getting Married. "But when it comes to picking out the band, going over the menu, or doing a tasting, he'll be more excited."

NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR GUY

Mundane must-dos like gift-registering can be hell for him ... unless you learn how to bargain. Jewel recommends roping him in with conditional statements like "If we can spend an hour choosing china, then we can head over to the electronics."

LET HIM DRESS HIMSELF

"Men hate it when you tell them what to wear," says Jewel. "Sure, he may need some guidance, but it's not like he's going to show up in jeans if you give him a little freedom." Bottom line: Let him have his James Bond moment in the tux of his choosing.

So much to do!

from: Bride's Wedding Dress, Bouquet Become Keepsakes If Cared For; The wedding season continues ... Family and friends can contribute to the honeymoon.

source: Los Angeles Sentinel, November 24, 2004.

via: HighBeam™ Research

The Knot Reveals Fresh Wedding Trends For 2005

What do you mean Bridezilla is over? The condition is never in vogue but not cured!