Cultural Diplomacy, Part 2: Wedding Gifting

Part II: Wedding Gifting

We then moved on to the issue of gifts, which was the unexpected bump. Albeit it is not a hugely emotional issue or a potential minefield as the wedding cost, it is nevertheless a difference in culture. In Chinese weddings, and with many other cultures I might add, guest bring wedding presents/gifts in the form of cash. (I am going to update this entry once I can come up with a small matrix, so stayed tuned.) As my father starts to describe how this plays out at a Chinese wedding, I noticed a micro-expression of apprehension at the thought. My future in-laws listened with an open mind but I could tell that they see some difficulties and discomfort of this in practice. This understandable -- after all, isn't about just them, it is about all the extended family as well. This one is going to be a little more challenging than the parents' meeting! To understand better, I checked on the wedding websites, Emily Post etiquette, Miss Manners for information. I did research and started to look at the reasons behind the general rules.

Since my FH and I have lived independently as adults out of the home for 10 years plus, when it comes to a gift registry, we have very little that we actually need. As we walk around windowshopping one weekend afternoon, we started noticing the couples that would run around department stores with a registry form and clipboard in hand. The way we look at it, there is very little that we would need, right away any way. We don't need dishes and silverware. In anything, we will have to get rid of things once we move in together after getting married!

Solution: The potpourri approach.
My Future Husband/ Significant Other (i like both titles equally well) and I are doing a little of everything. I actually quite like the solution -- it's modern and respectful of everyone's comfort level. We are creating gifting niches for greater marginal comfort for all involved. We've registered with online gift registry on Amazon.com very few items (moved from wishlist), and we are asking parents to spread the word that we have a honeymoon fund should they be inclined. The really Chinese of the party will bring their red envelopes.